Marriage may often be a stormy lake, but celibacy is almost always a muddy horsepond. -Thomas Love Peacock
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married? -Barbara Streisand
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up. -Ogden Nash
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't. -Patrick Murray
All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. -Lord Byron
Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing. -Elie Wiesel
A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down. -Arnold H. Glasow
Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory. -Abraham Lincoln
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations--we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together. -Rodney Dangerfield
Women are confusing. They hate it when you ask how old they are, then they turn around and bite your head off if you forget their birthday. -Scott E. Roeben
Don't tell a woman she's pretty; tell her there's no other woman like her, and all roads will open to you. -Jules Renard
Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live. -Margaret Fuller
When you make the sacrifice in marriage, you're sacrificing not to each other but to unity in a relationship. -Joseph Campbell
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. -Buddha
The greatest gift you and your partner can give your children is the example of an intimate, healthy, and loving relationship. -Barbara De Angelis
However successful you are, there is no substitute for a close relationship. We all need them. -Francesca Annis
A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together. -James H. Boren
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. -Mignon McLaughlin
Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. -Barnett R. Brickner
Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. -Simone Signoret
Family life is too intimate to be preserved by the spirit of justice. It can be sustained by a spirit of love which goes beyond justice. -Reinhold Niebuhr
Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual and the obligation reciprocal. -Louis K. Anspacher
Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near. -Helen Rowland
Oh! how many torments lie in the small circle of a wedding ring. -Charles Churchill
There was a time when we expected nothing of our children but obedience, as opposed to the present, when we expect everything of them but obedience. -Anatole Broyard
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed. -Albert Einstein
I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies. -Woody Allen
That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle the Vatican has overlooked. -Bill Cosby
If you're in a relationship and you want to make it work, you have to be a little selfless at times. -Montel Williams
In terms of the formation of long-term relationships, it's far better to get false negatives than false positives. -Eric Pepke
The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly. -Peter De Vries
Marriage: A word which should be pronounced 'mirage'. -Herbert Spencer
It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others. -Helen Rowland
Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him. -Marilyn Monroe
What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. -Mother Theresa
My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," my dad would reply, "we're raising boys." -Harmon Killebrew
Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present and future. We make discoveries about ourselves. -Gail Lumet Buckley
The best way to make your spouse and children feel secure is not with big deposits in bank accounts, but with little deposits of thoughtfulness and affection in the "love account." -Zig Ziglar
Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it. -Belgicia Howell
I'm very loyal in relationships. Even when I go out with my mom I don't look at other moms. -Garry Shandling
There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage. -Martin Luther
The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders. -Linda Festa
How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. -From the movie Annie
Assumptions are the termites of relationships. -Henry Winkler
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. -Donald H. Mcgannon
It is a woman’s business to get married as soon as possible, and a man’s to keep unmarried as long as he can. -George Bernard Shaw
Before marriage, a man will go home and lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll go to sleep before you finish saying it. -Helen Rowland
I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married. -Lewis Grizzard
The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers. - Woody Allen
Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal. -Louis K. Anspacher
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass. -Rodney Dangerfield
Home is the place where boys and girls first learn how to limit their wishes, abide by rules, and consider the rights and needs of others. -Sidonie Gruenberg
Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body. -Elizabeth Stone
Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but are always perfect for you.
Trouble is part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you enough chance to love you enough. -Dinah Shore
Don't settle for the one you can live with, wait for the one you can't live without. - Anon
No matter what you've done for yourself or for humanity, if you can't look back on having given love and attention to your own family, what have you really accomplished? -Lee Iacocca
You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job. -Laurence J. Peter
Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. -C. S. Lewis
A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down. -Arnold H. Glasow
I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar. -Robert Brault
When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it. -Edgar Watson Howe
Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with. - Mark Twain
